建立性愛自信

Building Sexual Confidence

我們很容易假設每個人在自己的睡房都能夠感受到安全感,但卻有不少人對於性是感到不安及懷有很多疑慮。即使是小小的行動,仍然有很多方法可以提高你的性自信。

It's easy to assume that everyone is confident in the bedroom except for you, but in reality, most people have some insecurities or concerns about sex. Though it may take a little work, there are easy ways to boost your sexual confidence.

 

  1. 誠實一點:這不代表你要向你的伴侶顯示所有缺點,只是當你感到尷尬、緊張及不安的時候,你應該告訴你的伴侶,令對方不會不自覺強迫你走出你的安全區域。
    Be honest: That doesn't mean listing everything that you think is wrong about yourself to your partner, but instead telling your lover if you feel shy, nervous or insecure so that they don't push you beyond your comfort zone.
     
  2. 自我認識:如果你不清楚自己需要,也就很難在伴侶面前有自信。你的需要不必局限於具體行為上,幻想也可以助你體驗不同的性角色,實不實行也是你的選擇。
    Know yourself: It's hard to be confident with a lover if you don't know what you want. And don't just think of it in a physical way. Fantasising can help you explore how comfortable you are with different sexual roles. Whether you make them come true is entirely up to you.

     
  3. 尊重伴侶:學習男性或女性基本的構造,並詢問你的伴侶的喜好。你不必需要懂得讀心術或體操能手也能做到一個好情人── 關注你伴侶的感受(與你自己的)便是最佳情人。
    Be informed: Learn the basics of male or female anatomy and ask your lover what they like. You don't need to be a mindreader or contortionist to be a great lover – just care about your partner's pleasure (and your own).

     
  4. 遮掩:如果你對暴露身體的某部份感到尷尬,你首先不要在壓力底下將該部位裸呈相見。在早期的階段,身上保留衣服蔽體並不是錯誤,你可以與伴侶慢慢建立信任,慢慢將自己向伴侶呈現真實的一面。不過,不要將這個方法視作唯一解決尷尬的方案:這只是一個簡單的途徑去助你建立足夠的自信,將自己的裸體呈現於人前。如果你的伴侶希望與你有性行為,對方會喜歡他所看到的,你大可以放心,不必感到尷尬。
    Cover up: If you're insecure about a particular part of your body, don't put yourself under the pressure of getting naked at first. There's nothing wrong with keeping a few clothes on during early make out sessions: you can reveal yourself gradually to a lover, as you build trust. However, don't see this as a permanent solution: it's simply a step in the road to help you build up your confidence enough to get naked. You can rest assured that if a lover wants to have sex with you, they like what they see.

     
  5. 穿衣:重申一次,這只是慢慢建立信心的一個過程,而不是終極的解決方案。有些人在穿著性感的內衣,或戴著眼罩,會更能開放自己。這似乎是有點奇怪但的而且確,不同的服裝可以幫我們去定義及扮演某個角色。所以,這是其中一個最簡單方法令我們減少尷尬,增加自信。
    Dress up: Again, this is a step along the road rather than ultimate solution, but some people find it's easier to be sexual if they get dressed up in sexy lingerie, or even wear a mask (think Venetian masked ball rather than George Bush). It may sound silly but clothes help us play roles, and acting as if you're sexually confident is one of the easiest ways to become sexually confident.

     
  6. 令自己更健美:運動及健康生活不止令你看來更美麗,而且你會感覺到更容易恢復情緒。更美妙的是,與你的伴侶一起運動,你倆的安多芬都會提升,令你倆更感快樂正面,及精力充沛。
    Get fit: Exercise and healthy living don't just make you look better – you'll feel more emotionally resilient too. Better yet, exercise with your lover so you both benefit from pumping endorphins and extra stamina.

     

​Self love helps build sexual confidence